Like buggy whips, land lines, and whale-bone corsets, customer service is a thing of the past. The long past. Only we old fogies remember when real people answered the phone after 3 to 4 rings, and actually listened and answered questions. I long for the good old days.
Here is what customer service offers today.
1. Being on hold 28 minutes before your call is answered. (Assuming it is.) . And during this unreasonable lengthy of time, you hear a recording every 15 seconds that says, “Your call is important to us. Our customer service representatives are busy helping other customers now. Please remain on the line and your call will be answered in the order in which it was received.”
2. Finally reaching a real person and being told at least 10 times with in a minute, “I’m sorry” or ” I apologize.”
These people who could care less are not sorry or apologetic. Just annoying. More than once I’ve said, “Stopped telling me you are sorry and do something!”
3. While on hold. Hearing a recording which encourages you to check their website. Great advice! But if your complaint is with your cable provider, who supplies your internet access, and the internet is down, which is why you are calling, this advice is worthless.
Bundle they say, fancy words for let us rip you off 3 ways.
4. Being told, “We are expecting higher call volumes than normal. Please call back.” Click.
5. Calling at 9 a.m. CSDT, and hearing a recording say, “Our office hours are between 6 a.m. and 6 p.m. ESDT. Please call back during those hours.” Click
6. Being on hold for 56 minutes. Hoping to wait them out and finally giving up because you need to take more aspirin, fix a stronger drink, go to the bathroom, or GET A LIFE.
And then….there are the robo calls. If you have missed receiving some of these you must live on Neptune, have no phone, are in a coma, or refuse to answer calls if you do not recognize the number. (The fault with this last plan is, caller ID is far from accurate. My calls have been identified as coming from Los Angeles and I live in Louisiana.))
Robo calls offer: free braces, free hearing aids, a chance to lower your credit card interest rates or win an all expense paid vacation, some restrictions apply. (Like how much money you have to invest in time shares.). What’s nice about robo calls is that no one ever comes onto the line, so feel free to vent all your frustrations to this inhuman voice. (A robo call has saved my sanity and marriage on more than one occasion.)
My best solicitation call ever. Several weeks ago a REAL, LIVE person called our house. She began her spiel about preparing for death, saving my loved ones the effort, and offered a great prepaid funeral.
When she paused for breath, I said. “Thank you for calling, but we have no need of your services, we are vampires.” I hung up and let her ponder that.