The Sicilian, aka my husband for those who are new to this blog, has appointed himself the Lawn Marshall for our subdivision. For someone who detests authority, abhorred his time in the military, and was forced into management for the last three years of his career, I find it odd he has given himself this position of power. Actually it is a position of no power, as the neighbors are unaware that he is maintaining a mental score card of their behavior.
If you want the Sicilian to make notations on your Permanent Record, do one of the following:
- Leave a garbage can on the street for more than a day before the designated pick up day or more than a day after the garbage is removed.
- Put up holiday decorations more than a month before any given holiday.
- Fail to remove holiday decorations by two weeks after the holiday has passed.
FOR THE RECORD, one house at the front of the subdivision is on permanent report. Their Mardi Gras decorations are still up, and Mardi Gras was February 27.
Another home owner left Halloween pumpkins in their front garden for a year. (I noticed them and told the Sicilian. Yes I like to needle him about his idiosyncrasies.) Now they too have a black mark on their permanent record.
While long-term holiday decorations upset the Sicilian, they don’t bother me. One house sported a huge spider for Halloween that covered the front of the two-story house.. It remained there for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Not your usual fall or Christmas decoration, but perhaps they were celebrating the year of the arachnid.
- Dogs running at large irk the Sicilian, especially if they bother Spot the Wonder Dog who is leashed or confined to her yard. I agree, these people should have a tick mark on their permanent record.
- If the grass is knee-high, mowing is needed, ASAP.
Every neighborhood, despite the cost of the homes, has one person who is a pain in the arse. Ours is the Squire. He sets a high standard for blight in our neighborhood. His dogs roam at will, cars, trailers, trucks, and miscellaneous items are strewn on his lawn and driveway. There is not a Permanent Record large enough to record his misdeeds
If you do not see a pain in the arse in your neighborhood, check your yard and look in the mirror. It could be YOU. If code enforcement, the sheriff, or animal control visit you on a regular basis, watch out. Someone has recorded this on your permanent record.
Is this YOU?