The Sicilian and I will be traveling soon. I wish I could put him in my checked luggage for several reasons.
1. He despises flying.
2. He is always seated behind a passenger who thinks he is having a tooth extracted and reclines his seat so it is impossible for the people behind him to move, ( even if you have paid for extra leg room)
3. And worst of all, there is the TSA BS.
To spare my nerves, the Sicilian and I usually go through a different TSA lines.
On a previous trip we were bringing back rocks from Colorado which appear as dark blobs on the TSA x-ray machine.
A TSA drone said, “What do you have in your suitcase?”
The Sicilian responds, “You have the X-ray machine. You tell me.” This baffles the TSA. After a lengthy pause the Sicilian said, “Rocks.”
“Oh, Okay.” The TSA drone waves the Sicilian though with no further inspection. Yes, that made me feel safe.
And why to I call these hard-working government employees drones? Because Spot the Wonder Dog can sniff out treats better than these clowns can observe dangerous objects in your luggage via their X-ray machine. Case in point: Numerous times I have unintentionally carried a pocket knife on an airplane in my purse and never was questioned. But the same pocket knife set off bells and whistles like a winning slot machine when I tried to enter the local courthouse with it in my purse. ( For faithful readers you know about the bullet incident.)
Whatever you do when flying, don’t refuse to go through their body scanner. If you do, they send a pervert to check out your junk and other body parts. I’ve have pelvic exams that were not as invasive as the body check I had from a TSA person.
My final comments on the “we make you feel-safe TSA drones” is this: If that pint jar of commercially prepared figs I was bringing to friends was so dangerous I could not carry it on the airplane, how were you able to toss it in a nearby container and stand by these figs for the rest of your work shift? Did you fear for your life? And what about all the other passengers? Why should they be forced to pass by a container full of water bottles, canned food, and dangerous figs?
For a price, I understand it is now possible to receive a “TSA Get of Jail Free Card” that allows you to by-pass all this folderol and just board the plane. But, who is to say these jail-free types have not changed their political agenda, developed a personal grudge against the world, or are convinced aliens will beam the airplane to another realm against their wishes.
All this is food for thought before you fly. And it certainly is better food than what you will be served in flight. Bone Appetit, as Spot would say.