Baptism by Oops

stupid-signSheesh, my Daddy used to say when a situation defied normal expressions of surprise. That word, and that word alone sums up my past week.  After reading this, some of you may say clumsy, inattention, stupidity, and feebleness might be a better word, but I’m sticking with Sheesh.
Tuesday, walking on flat concrete, in full daylight, I managed to make a swan dive onto the concrete. My right hip took a blow, and my fist landed under me bruising my “right airbag.” The Sicilian not wanting to embarrass mebruised-breast referred to my breast as an airbag when relating my fall to his golf partner.. Suffice it to say my burlesque career is over. If this had been Fat Tuesday, AKA. Mardi Gras, my purple green and gold breast would have been in style, but in Mid-September it is just painful.
After this tumble, which thankfully was witnessed by no one, I decided to be more careful.  Needing to touch up the mural on our fence, I put on my New Balance shoes for two reasons, (1) to give me stable footing on our uneven yard, and(2) to protect me from the fire ants that hide in the plants near the mural.  I put on my swimming suit, as the day was hot and I planned to swim afterwards, a fish-designed shirt which was ancient, but one of my favorites, and of course my solar shield sunglasses over my regular glasses. Add a ball cap as a visor and you can  visual me as a wanna-be-da Vinci.
I poured green paint in a plastic cup and touched up leaves on the fence. I returned to the paint cans and mixed brown paint to refurbish the trees in the mural. Intent on my spot-by-holeproject, I walked with determination toward the mural, happy that I had been spared fire ant bites. Focused on my destination I forgot about the hole Spot the Wonder dog and made by digging in when she runs around the pool.
Yep, I stepped into it. Twisted my ankle that I had spent several thousand dollars and six-weeks in a cast having repaired years ago, and fell to the ground.  I can attest to the fact that the ground is a better landing zone than concrete, but that is about all. And the paint, ypaint-covered-headep, you guess it. I baptized the ground, my hat, head, hair, and glasses with paint, which momentarily blinded me. I tossed the paint covered items into the pool, picked myself off the ground, and limped toward the pool steps. Sheesh!
I do not recommend removing paint in a swimming pool, but this was a dire situation. Thankfully again, no one witnessed my fall.  In some respects that is sad, because a video might have garnered me $10,000 on Americans Funniest Videos, but then again, who needs that kind of fame?
I have no idea what I will do for an encore.  I hope there won’t be one.
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15 thoughts on “Baptism by Oops

  1. Jeff King

    Well, you didn’t have to tell us about the fall but, your descriptions ALMOST made it sound entertaining. One of my neighbor’s told me that his Doctor said that, to live to be 100 years old, DON’T FALL! Sorry I’m a little late with the advice.

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  2. sls65336

    I sympathize. As I am a bit (quite) older than you, falling is something I don’t want to do either.
    Do you remember the training in college when you took gymnastics? It does come back and remembering to roll with the arms crossed and head down does help. I just did the foot in the hole down the hill about two weeks ago, and did a somersault. So, yes, I know. some muscles sore, but did not break anything, nor bruise as you did. We do have to watch and look too. Falling does not get any better in the late 70’s.

    Sharon

    PS. Keep the fire ants down there, please… .

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  3. Jeri Harness (Poofy)

    Since the ship has sailed for the above advice, I will just commiserate with your pain! Your muriel was so pretty I hope none of the errant paint got on it. How do you get paint out of a swimming pool??🙃

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  4. Charmaine Hastak

    Sheesh !! What are you trying to do, Rebecca…..keep up with me !? Only difference here is that I do it inside, not out, and unfortunately I do have witnesses. You know about the big fall that occurred last year that I’m still paying for with the old broken. About 2 weeks ago I ended up flat on my back in the den. Don’t ask. Yes I may also be clumsy, inattentive, stupid and certainly getting feeble too, but I agree…..I’ll stick with SHEESH !!! As you mentioned, of this were Mardi Gras you’d be cleaning up on beads !! Hope you’re feeling better.

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  5. Judith Drage

    Wow you make my life look so boring. But have fewer bumps and bruises so guess maybe boring is better. I hesitate to say “stay safe”, but at least make an effort.

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  6. Pingback: Baptism by Oops | Southern Christian Writers Guild

  7. Jean Scheve

    Maybe you could go trick or treating as a mummy. You’re the second friend in two days that has written me about falling down. Your description of your falls make me laugh while feeling the pain for you. Better luck to you this week.

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  8. Jeff King

    Just read your most recent post again, and was struck by the number of potential retirement careers you probably should not choose. On the list, I count farming, painting, ballerina (?), pool gal, owner of an INSECT CIRCUS, ETC. On the bright side, we are drilling down on the one that is the best one for you. Your attitude remains positive and strong, despite all those that have been eliminated. I hope none of them were your heart’s desire!
    Jeff

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    1. My Crazy Life

      Dud manage mine and my sisters farm for 20 plus years, don’t like painting, did it out of necessity, bugs….you can have them. Ballerina, would have loved that but wrong body shape and weak ankles. Perhaps humorous speaker?

      Like

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