Toxins: For the Yard and the Sicilian

poisons

Just bought these items today. Does this look like over kill? Not if you live in the deep South. No self-respecting southern gardener or person who has a severe allergic reaction to wasps and fire ants stings, would ever let their supply of toxic chemicals be depleted. As for the 20 pounds of fungus killer, in case your TV has been turned off the last two weeks so you could be spared the political fecal tossing, you might not be aware that south Louisiana received 6-24 inches of rain depending on where you live. Thankfully we were in the 6 inch area and did not flood, but our lawn is now a mass of dead grass. Fungus.

dead lawnThis morning I noticed spots of green in the huge brown areas in our lawn. Silly me, I thought the grass was recovering. Nope, just the impossible to kill button weeds and chamberbitter staking their claim to my dying lawn.  If the rain falls on the just and the unjust, then it seems logical to me that this fungus should kill the weeds as well as the grass.  But that is not the case.  So another round of toxins will be necessary to salvage our lawn. And yes, I have registered our lawn as a biohazard with the EPA, but when it comes to reducing bugs per square inch, more is more. There is no such thing as moderation. You slack off, they attack.

walt's foodAs for this stockpile of junk food I bought this morning, that is for the Sicilian. I’m escaping this 95 degree heat which has equal humidity to visit a friend in the Pacific Northwest soon. Spot and the Sicilian have to fend for themselves. Spot eats the same diet of dry kibble every day, so, no problem there, and the Sicilian is capable of cooking; he did it for many years while raising his son. But, now they both have high cholesterol as every item he cooked required a stick of butter because he subscribed to the comment a favorite chef of his made: ” If you put enough cream or butter on it, people will eat tires and beg for more.”

I on the other hand believe all things in moderation, with the exception of the aforementioned bugs. To save the Sicilian a trip to the grocery while I am gone, which might result in an astronomical charge on the credit card for junk food, I bought him a reasonable supply of high cholesterol, high sugar, and high sodium food. These toxins should keep him happy while I am gone.  As for the bugs and fungus, I’m not so sure.

Final thought: I’ve heard as golfer age, they try to shoot their age. Today the Sicilian and his friend played a round of golf  and their score was the same as the temperature, 93.  I wonder if they will do as well when it is 74 outside?

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8 thoughts on “Toxins: For the Yard and the Sicilian

  1. Pray the crazy ants don’t make it to the northshore. Merlin, my pest contol professional has been batteling mine for a month. He is only contracted for treating my house, so he asked me to spray the yard with Bifen. I have stopped the invasion for now. They are stubborn little pain in the @sses.

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  2. The Weazel

    We’ll, just had bug Guy for visit! Took care of some ants here that didn’t like all the water in the ground! Did good job so all in good shape in Waldon on Lake Conroe! As for Walt toxins, think that little pile might last a day!! Told me he is recovering from food coma from last night. So, may last two days! Crazy ants in Conroe area, none out here yet. Keep there please!

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  3. Jeff

    Maybe the ants are waiting, just out of view, for you to depart. It’s like kids partying while their parents are away! Would like to hear which of your “bug beaters” are successful!

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  4. Jeri Harness

    I Hate anything that crawls! Except maybe Bob when he used to crawl home while in the Navy!! If I see a creepy crawler I ask Bob to see how soon the bug man will be there. If I don’t like the answer, I insist he call right away….
    Your blog is so entertaining every time. Your sense of humor cracks me up!😆

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