Part of a having a good marriage means suffering when your spouse is suffering or at least making an effort to show you care. There is one exception to this advice.
CRAZY WOMAN’S PROVERB: An uncursed spouse should step away from the cursed partner less the curse be inflicted or transferred to you.
On Thursday, after plenty of griping, the Sicilian set off to New Orleans at 7:30 a.m. for jury duty.
While he was gone, I dumped the various jars and banks in our house we had filled with loose change into a small beer cooler and lugged it to the bank to be counted. On the teller’s counter was a sign reading, “You may be contacted after your transaction to discuss our customer service. We hope you are 100% satisfied.”
I hoisted the cooler onto the counter, and you can guess her response. “We don’t count coins. If you wrap the coins, we will take them.”
So much for 100% satisfaction. I lugged the cooler, along with a fistful or wrappers home. Two hours later I had wrapped more than $150 in coins.
I was contemplating how the Sicilian and I could celebrate with the money when he arrived home and said, “I took a rock on the back passenger window of my car going to that stupid jury. Window is completely shot. I’m cursed. First the jury, and now this.”
So much for celebrating. I called a nearby body shop and was informed they did not install windows. I was referred to a local glass company. The clerk there told me, “We can’t get that window. See if you can buy one on the internet, and if you do, we will install it for $75.”
I’m thinking, why can’t you buy one on the internet for me and then install it? But that was not option.
Our short-term solution: Go to the Barley Oak, a great draught house about 5 miles from our home that has 47 beers on tap, and another 50 varieties in bottles or cans. After a few adult beverages, and some great German snacks, the window was forgotten, until today.
After numerous searches on the internet, I had no choice but to order the window from Honda, which of course has the window on backorder. Cost: $250, and this does NOT include installation, which, you guessed it, they do not install windows. Sheesh, talk about a niche market. I hope the installer I called will not tell me later they only install windshields, not side windows.
Since we need two cars, without cutting myself, I removed the shattered glass which exploded around me like sharp hailstones and replaced it with a redneck safety window, guaranteed to make you your car look like a junker.
The Sicilian said, “I’ll look like a real babbeo (Italian for idiot or fool) driving around now.”
“So what. You’re cursed. What do you expect.”